


As Fate Would Have It

by WatchTheTigersFly



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, Red String of Fate, Sad Ending, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 21:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16606028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchTheTigersFly/pseuds/WatchTheTigersFly
Summary: Dan Howell lives in a world where everyone has a soulmate. Connected by a red string of fate, everyone searches for their special someone. All Dan wants is to find his someone.Or the one where soulmates are real but other stuff is still accurate. Um idk. It's a soulmate au





	As Fate Would Have It

**Author's Note:**

> Hey it’s my first proper work on here, it’s a quick oneshot that I hope you enjoy. Nothing triggering should be in here except maybe cursing and breakdowns if any of that bothers you.

_Everyone has a soulmate. Each person has a thin red string wrapped around their left ring finger, connecting them to another person. While it isn’t visibly there, it does exist. You can’t feel it, but you can see it._

_The string connects you to your soulmate. They can be platonic or romantic and they are considered to be your “other half” by the universe. These strings may stretch or tangle, but they never break. After all, soulmates are meant to be together forever._

***

Dan was five years old when he first learned about soulmates. He was staring at the red string at his finger, trying to figure out why he couldn’t touch it. It was an eye sore, frankly. He pulled and pulled at his finger, but he couldn’t seem to get a hold of the string.

The sound of footsteps filled the room as someone entered it. After a few moments, a pair of soft, brown slippers could be seen from the corner of Dan’s eye.

“Honey, what are you doing?”

Dan looked up from his place on the living room carpet, his tiny hand wrapped around his finger.

“There’s something stuck on my finger,” he whined, eyes wide.

His mother moved to his side, her laughter filling the room. “Darling, that’s your string.”

“My string?”

“Yes,” she replied, kneeling next to him, “it connects you to your soulmate. That’s a special person who you will love and spend your life with. See here, this is my string. When your father gets home, you’ll see that his string connects to mine.”

Confused, Dan looked down. He held up his finger and said, “my string doesn’t go anywhere.”

“You don’t need to worry about that sweetie, your string will appear fully when you turn 16,” She replied warmly.

Dan nodded. Being five, he was still incredibly confused and hadn’t really understood the concept completely, but his five year old brain had enough information for that moment.

***

When Dan was twelve, he fell in love.

Obviously he couldn’t know that for fact seeing as he was twelve, but his hormonal brain did a great job of convincing him that he was in love with Haley Woods.

Haley Woods was a gorgeous blonde girl in his classes with bright brown eyes that put Dan’s to shame. She was everything that books and movies depicted as soulmate material. She was smart, kind, and pretty. She got along with Dan and was always nice to him.

She also had boobs. Maybe most importantly to Dan, she had boobs. Yes, Haley was one of the girls in his class to develop earlier than the others.

Unfortunately, Dan didn’t really understand that what he felt was physical desire caused by his overactive hormones. He didn’t even care that he hadn’t seen his red string yet. He stared longingly at her in class until the devastating day she moved, forcing Dan to find a new girl of interest.

***

Being fifteen was horrible. Like for most of his classmates, the days were filled with Dan longing for his sixteenth birthday. However, his nights were filled with crisis after crisis as he tried to figure out who he was. More specifically, who he was attracted to.

Dan was trying to figure out his sexuality, though he hated that he had to go through that at all. He was perfectly content believing that he liked girls and girls only, but then the attractive and mysterious new kid David had to come along and ruin that for him.

Maybe if he hadn’t decided to become friends with David, he never would have been kissed under the bleachers one winter night after a school dance. Maybe he wouldn’t have to deal with how he kissed back so eagerly, and how it felt like fireworks were going off in his brain. Maybe he wouldn’t have to lie in bed wondering why no girl had ever made him feel like that before.

So, instead of worrying about his own relationship (or lack thereof), he concentrated on his friends’ relationships. Having a relatively late birthday, he got to watch as his friends slowly all started to see their strings, and as they all made the choice to continue dating or wait until they found their soulmates to be in a committed relationship. It was sad seeing a few couples break up when they learned they weren’t truly right for each other, but those were mostly the kids from conservative families. Most people didn’t care if they weren’t dating their soulmate until they actually met them.

It wasn’t until the night before his sixteenth birthday that the fear of what he would learn sunk in. He was walking to an ice cream parlor for an early birthday celebration with his best friend Louise, who had just discovered that her boyfriend was, in fact, her soulmate. It was an extremely rare occurrence, and that just made it even more beautiful to Dan. It all started with a simple question.

“So, are you going to date after your string appears?” Louise asked innocently.

“Oh, um, I’m not really sure,” Dan stammered out. “I guess I’m not _against_ the idea of dating, but it’s not really like people are lining up to go out with Dan Howell.”

“While that may be true, there’s definitely someone who would want to date you, you just need to make it clear that you’d be interested!” Louise replied warmly. Dan cast her a disbelieving look.

“Ok, but,” Dan added quickly, “on the other hand, what’s the point? If I’m not dating my soulmate, then that relationship won’t even last. It’ll just crash and burn, and I don’t want unnecessary heartbreak.”

“Oh, love, you can’t be afraid of pain and rejection for the rest of your life.” Louise cast him a pitying look. “Well, it’s up to you. I’m sure you’ll end up happy no matter what you choose.”

“I’ll think about it.” Dan said quietly.

As Dan stayed up on his birthday, watching the clock until it struck 4:27 AM, he wasn’t sure what to feel. All he really felt was tired, because he just spent his night sitting on his bed in anticipation until the early hours of the morning.

Maybe he was a bit disappointed when he walked through town the next few days and saw that his string continued to stretch off into the distance, but he would never admit it.

***

“Hey guys!”

Dan, who was eighteen, was sat on his bed watching YouTube. Specifically, AmazingPhil (who he may or may not have a tiny crush on). He honestly thought this Phil character was smart, kind, and just generally amazing (and attractive). He had quickly become an avid fan, replying to his tweets and seeing all of his videos as soon as they came out.

He was more than a little surprised and slightly starstruck when Phil decided to reply to Dan’s comment on a new video. Ecstatic, Dan happily gave out his twitter handle, shaking as he awaited further communication.

They got very close after that, eventually moving from twitter and text to skype calls, which sometimes got a little out of hand (but Dan wasn’t complaining about seeing Phil shirtless).

In other words, Dan was no longer confused about how he felt about dating before his soulmate.

When Phil tentatively brought up seeing each other in real life, Dan jumped at the chance. Before he realized what was happening, he had managed to convince his parents to let him go to Manchester to “visit a friend from school that went to uni there,” as he put it. Train tickets were purchased, and the countdown until he could see Phil started.

Their Skype calls just got more desperate from there, and Dan was positive that Phil’s flirtatious comments were no longer imaginary or how he normally acted around friends. Dan did his best to flirt back, but he was positive he was just making a fool out of himself.

The day finally came, and Dan was bouncing in his seat as the train flew past the England scenery. The moment he finally stepped off of the train and onto the platform was the most nervous Dan had been in a while. His anxiety was starting to build up again as he frantically searched around the platform for Phil, but all of that was forgotten the moment he felt strong arms wrap around him from behind. He involuntarily let out a little yelp and turned around as the grip around his waist loosened. Dan was met with dazzling blue eyes and a bright smile as Phil let out a small laugh. 

Dan let out a little giggle himself, wrapping his arms around around Phil and whispering, “you’re real.”

It wasn’t until they pulled apart and were walking to Phil’s flat that Dan noticed it. He was toying with the idea of grabbing Phil’s hand in his when he noticed the red string that was on Phil’s finger, and how it travelled to Dan’s.

“Phil,” he gasped, carefully lifting Phil’s hand up, “look.”

***

At the ripe age of twenty, Dan could say with certainty that he was very happy. Yes, he might have been sitting on his bed with cat whiskers drawn on his face as his boyfriend inhaled helium for a video, but the smile on his face was not fake. His YouTube career was stable enough, and he had found his soulmate. His life was piecing itself together.

He and Phil were at their strongest, and no bad comment could change that. They completed each other, and no matter how painfully cheesy that was, it couldn’t be denied.

Serious arguments were rare and easily fixed, with most of Dan’s annoyance concentrated on Phil’s awful habit of stealing all of Dan’s cereal. 

They celebrated each other’s best moments and were there to support each other at their worst. They were starting to build their brand together. Dan really couldn’t see his life going any other way.

“I can hear you thinking,” Phil murmured as he pressed his face into Dan’s neck.

Dan giggled at the ticklish feeling. “Just thinking about you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Phil leaned in, his breath mingling with Dan’s.

“Yeah.” Dan smiled. He leaned in to close the gap and pressed their lips together, the camera sitting in the corner completely forgotten as they got lost in each other.

***

They were doing fine. They were great, really, there was no reason for anyone to worry.

Except they weren’t. Dan never thought that when he was twenty-two, he and his soulmate would be fighting. Sure, couples disagree, but did they actively ignore each other for weeks? Should they be worried that they couldn’t even carry a normal conversation anymore?

They were drifting apart and Dan didn’t know what to do.

It started small. First, they stopped talking about every little thing together. They discussed their business, and that was it. Maybe occasionally they would slip into their old familiarity and play some video games, making a silent agreement to forget their issues for the time being.

Then they weren’t sharing a bed. Slowly, not falling asleep next to each other became normal. It went from every now and then to everyday, and that definitely wasn’t normal.

Maybe the final straw was when Phil freaked out on Dan for the smallest reason. They both knew that it went much deeper than the fact that Dan hadn’t asked Phil about some radio show event before starting it, but logic wasn’t exactly their strong suite.

Phil stormed off after the radio show, not stopping for the fans that awaited them like he always did. Dan did his best to apologize to them all and made up some excuse about them having an important meeting. It was obviously a lie, but Dan didn’t even care if anyone bought it.

“Phil!” Dan called out, running to catch up with him. “What’s wrong?”

Phil turned around slowly.

“What’s wrong,” He said in a low voice, “is that you didn’t even ask me if I was fine with that game.” With that he turned around and stormed off.

“Phil!” Dan called out again, but Phil ignored him. He continue to do so until they were in the comfort of their flat, away from public scrutiny.

“Phil. Stop ignoring me. Please.”

Dan grabbed Phil’s arm and turned him around. Phil let him, but he met Dan with an icy glare.

“Phil, I only did that because you were too busy to even speak to me about the radio show! If I didn’t do anything, we wouldn’t have had anything planned and we can’t just not plan anything!” Dan cast Phil a pleading look, silently begging him to just understand.

“Well, I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to have commitments.”

“Oh my god, Phil,” Dan grumbled, “we both know that’s bullshit. You’ve been ignoring me for weeks. I’m trying, here. I’m trying to fix this, but I can’t do this on my own!”

They were treading on unmarked territory, tackling a concept they were both afraid to talk about. Dan hadn’t meant to start this, but everything really came down to one thing: they were soulmates. They had to figure out what was going on.

“Oh, please. You call that trying? Shutting me out and handling _our_ job on your own? Dan, you haven’t put any effort into this relationship since day one. It’s always been a convenient business move for you, hasn’t it?”

“Phil, you know that’s not-“

“Im not finished!” Phil yelled out. “Let me finish. Because I’m done. I’m done trying to fix this. I’m done trying to fix _you_!”

Bracing his arms on the kitchen table, he looked up. Just like Dan, Phil looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. I can’t. Maybe it’s a mistake. We’ve tried so hard to fix what we have, but what exactly is that?”

The weight of Phil’s words sank in, leaving Dan both confused and worried. Phil was just rambling. He was just stressed, right? He was projecting onto Dan. But...

”You can’t possibly mean you don’t love me anymore?” Dan croaked out.

Phil let out a hollow laugh. “Fuck you, Dan. You don’t get to pull that card. You don’t get to make yourself the victim here and try to get me to pity you. And you know what, it’s working, and I hate you for it.”

With a small huff, Phil turned around and stormed off, leaving Dan to trail after him. Phil turned around right before entering his room, and said one more thing to Dan, holding eye contact the whole time.

“I’m done with you, Dan. I really mean it this time.” His voice wasn’t cold, it was just empty. Maybe a little pained.

It felt like a dagger had pierced his heart. Dan could only watch helplessly as Phil took the final step into his room and slammed the door shut.

They would be fine. Right? Come morning they’d be able to talk things out. This argument was a wake up call for them. They’d fix things.

But of course, the universe was never done fucking with him.

He could only watch as the wood of the door crashed with the frame. He would never have expected it. It felt like the world was going in slow motion.

As fate would have it, the string snapped, dissolving into non-existence. 

Dan heard the lock click. In a daze, he managed to stumble into his own room and shut the door, sliding to the ground in a heap of limbs. He couldn’t process what had happened. Phil had given up on him. How could that mean they weren’t soulmates? Tears streamed down his face as he slowly curled up into a ball.

The string broke. His string- _their_ string- was gone.

A painfully loud sob escaped Dan before he managed to bite down on his fist. He was trembling and he couldn’t control it. His mind was racing with thoughts of why, how, where did he go wrong, how did he manage to fuck up so bad?

Dan just didn’t get it.

Phil was his soulmate. Phil was the best thing to ever happen to him.

_How could Phil hate him?_

***

They say everyone has a soulmate they are destined to be with for the rest of their life. You are connected by an imaginary red string, the infamous red string of fate. No matter how much it may stretch and tangle, the string never breaks.

At least, that’s what they teach the kids in primary school. As Dan got older, he learned that there have been cases of these strings breaking. Rare, but possible, and it was always a secret fear of his. The little red string on a person’s left ring finger is meant to connect them to the person that matches up best with their soul, but people can change. 

Soulmates can be unmatched.

It can destroy a person to see the person they cared for most just walk out of their life. The universe promised everyone a happy ending, so why are some so unfortunate as to be the glitch in the system? How much pressure can a person take to change who they are before they just snap?

Were he and Phil just so out of tune that they broke?

It nearly destroyed Dan when he watched his own string break. He remembers the nights spent in his empty flat crying himself to sleep. His soulmate is a constant thought at the front of his mind.

His finger is currently missing a red string, and he just wishes he could get that eye sore back. Even though it felt like the end of the world, Dan put on a brave face and tricked his fans into thinking he was fine.

Dan is twenty-three. He has no soulmate. He doesn’t even have a best friend. He lives in a two bedroom flat alone as his so-called “other half” lives in his own across town. They use Dan’s flat to film joint videos. They don’t want to confuse the fans by telling them they haven’t been real friends for what feels like ages. 

But their fans are smart. They notice the collaboration videos dwindling in numbers. They notice the pain Dan so poorly masks. They notice the icy numbness with which Phil treats Dan.

He and Phil discuss their relationship and how it affects their brand, but no steps are being taken to fix anything besides the superficial. They just get closer to ending things as business partners everyday.

Dan is alone, and he doesn’t think that will ever change. He was given Phil, the best thing to ever happen to him, and he managed to fuck it up.

How could the world expect Dan to go on after that? The answer is, it can’t. Yet it does.

And maybe it really fucked Dan up, because he hasn’t talked to anyone about this and he just gets closer to losing it every single day. But life goes on, and Dan hopes with time he can learn to look at Phil without feeling the pain and the hatred that boils within.


End file.
